Friday, September 24, 2010

Should I weigh myself this morning?

That is the exact question I asked my husband this morning. Chris responded "no". He is right... why should I weigh myself and have a bad day?
To say I have enjoyed eating during my pregnancy would be an understatement. Honestly, I could have been a little more picky about my food decisions. But I will not apologize. Being someone who has worried about her weight/body image since the day she started puberty I took pregnancy as an opportunity to indulge myself with food since I normally do not get these opportunities.
I will not ever reveal how much I have gained during this pregnancy because I'm a lady. Ha! Honestly, I don't even know the real amount myself because I choose not to hear my weight at my appointments. Just know that it's within the recommended weight gain for pregnancy and my doctor is not concerned.
While planning to get pregnant I was counting calories and working out. If you go to some of the earlier posts (like the first one) in my archives (when my blog had a completly different name - a.k.a. skinny jeans ~ fat wallet) you can read more about that journey. I had started to lose a few inches, lost about 5-7 lbs counting calories and was down to a more shelli friendly size with the use of I was not close to my goal weight or size but I had a plan and it was working in a healthy fashion.
Obviously when I became pregnant my eating plan went out the window...

However my views have somewhat changed about my body. Now I have had my share of hormonal crying fits when trying to find something cute to wear in my closet and a few mental breakdowns when I discovered some of those stretchy marks... but being pregnant has taught me alot of things about body image.
1. My growing body is growing a life
Hormonal crying/breakdowns aside I am thankful that I was chosen to be pregnant with this precious baby inside of me. I am thankful my body is healthy enough to grow a life. Ultimately every roll, stretchmark etc. are reminders that I'm going to be Kendall's mommy. I know when I get to hold her (next month!) none of that will matter to me. She is my prize and my body is the vehicle to get her in my arms!!
2. God is using my "teenage acne I didn't even get in high school" prego face to teach me a lesson about vanity
I used to love having my picture made because I always looked so cute. I was a little vain... then I got married and gained like 10-15 happily married pounds and I started doing something I never did... I weighed myself. I never weighed myself from ages 18-22. I didn't care I just knew my clothes fit and everything I tried on in the store fit. Gaining weight has taught me that I shouldn't focus so much on that. I look back on pictures from Jan-Feb of this year (right before I found out I was growing Kendall in my belly) and I think I look so good. What's sad is I thought I was so fat taking those pictures.
I'm not exactly thrilled about having my picture taken these days but I realize that looks really don't matter so much. I also love knowing that I have the "I'm pregnant" excuse these days... so if I choose not to wash my hair, put makeup on and wear my yoga pants to work no one is judging me. :)
3. I have a long road ahead of me if the whole breastfeeding weight loss program I'm banking on doesn't get me 20 pounds less than my pre-prego weight... I can dream right?
I know the days, weeks or even months after Kendall is born I will not magically be a skinny, toned momma! I know that weight loss (that sticks) has to be a gradual process. I will have to make better food choices and most importantly stay active. And I will... because I want to be an energetic mom for Kendall. I want to chase her around the house and play with her for hours outside and feel my best for her!

Now my point for writing all of this is just for me to remember how I felt at XXX amount of weight 35 weeks/4 days pregnant. The day when I have been eating good for weeks and working out regularly and the scale is not moving I want to look back and know I'm doing the right thing. My purpose will be clear in that I'm doing it for myself, Kendall, my future babies and my husband. I want to be the best I can be for myself and family. My health is important to me and I promise to be one hot mom in the pool playing with Kendall come Summer 2011. We will discuss more of this six weeks postpartum :) Thanks for listening!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I remember those days of dreading the scale! I gained a whopping 50 lbs, but I did lose it all. It took some work, but its definitely possible :)