Lately, I have been thinking about when we will start trying to have another baby. I have a few friends who are already pregnant with baby number two or who are seriously considering it very soon. And me? I'm just not there yet.
Some days I want to be pregnant and have a squishy baby. Kendall had a tea party with our dog Wilson the other day and Chris and I both agreed she needed a playmate. Ha! And she is so sweet with her baby dolls so of course she will be a wonderful big sister.
Outside of our family unit we have a lot going on and that does play a factor in adding to our family. I am working on my masters degree and that was a very hard decision. I was so worried about sacrificing my time with Kendall for school and I cannot imagine being in school while I'm pregnant or with two kids.
Then I start thinking about the timing of everything (because it always goes the way you want it to right?) and how far apart I want my kids to be in age. And I stress myself out.
So I have had a lot of mixed emotions about all of this. I guess I've come to the conclusion that I need to do whats best for Kendall, our family and myself and that means to wait a little while before another baby.
Second, I don't think I'm ready yet. I think I will know when it's right. I don't want to get pregnant because my friends are and I want it to be right by Kendall. Kendall still needs me. Sunday when we were out she was being a clingy two year old and kept wanting me to, " Hold you" as she calls it and I thought to myself I'm not ready to share myself yet. She is still a baby (in some ways) and I want to treasure this time with her.
Not to mention, when we have another baby I want to treasure the time with my new baby too.
My mom always tells me that, "what you think about, you bring about", and I truly believe that! Because lately I have been running into moms that are on our same path. They are spacing their kids out or have a 4-5 age gap between kids. I think there is a reason I've crossed paths with them.