Thursday, June 6, 2013

1 of 92873 AHA moments I will have as a parent

Recently Kendall and I have branched into new territory. I would never identify my child as a "terrible two" until the last few weeks happened. She plays me and I'm the total pushover mom who lets her.

I started noticing these "changes" with her and I when we would venture out in public. She doesn't want to sit in the shopping cart anymore. I sometimes fight it, but most of the time I don't. What does it hurt for her to walk sometimes? And I could explain 20 other power struggles but this is the most significant in public.

Then there is the time your kid kicks you in the neck when you try to remove her off the slide.

Then there was the time I cried at my moms house the next morning while drinking a Coca-Cola explaining to her that I'm scared of my kid and worried I'm screwing her up all at the same time.

Then I had an AHA moment a few hours later.

Chris has his classroom turtles home for the summer and their tank is sitting on our dining room table at the moment. Kendall was standing in a chair looking at them and I was in the kitchen doing dishes. She asked if she could take the tank lid off. I said no. She asked again. Frustrated, I said no and asked her to get down. Then I could tell that something was brewing inside of her and something clicked with me.

She needs to know why she can't do it.

So I explained to her that the water had stuff in it and that the turtles are very slimy and only daddy can touch them. Her response, "OK". And she got down off the chair and went in the other room. Shelli -1

I'm not saying that this approach will always work or that I will never swat my child. Because clearly it is never OK to kick your mother in the neck and sometimes a small hand to the tush tells her I mean business. I just really believe with my child, that spanking is not effective. She is smart and sensitive and wants to understand her boundaries. I want her to take me seriously and know why she can't do things.

It's all a learning lesson. I'm not a perfect mother and I will never claim to be. And I apologize to my own mother for telling her how to raise her kids. Clearly the good Lord above has a sense of humor. :)

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