Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Taking a chill pill

I try to do a lot all the time. I have a lot of help, but I take on a lot. Hence, my stressed jaw situation. So after your husband is out of the country for two weeks and you are around your kids all the time, you just need an hour to yourself.

I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m complaining, because I truly am grateful for this season of life. It’s summer. My husband is at home. I am at home. We are with our kids every day. I’m just wired to be anxious and worried about the future. The future as in if I will have a classroom in August.

Saturday I told Chris I needed to be alone. I snuck out of the house and floated in my parents pool for a little while and then chatted with my mom and siblings. I just needed to reboot.

Then I got pissed because Chris took the kids to his parents without telling me. Much later I found the cute note he left where he told me to “Enjoy!” Insert humility.

Do you ever wish you could convince yourself to think a certain way?

Like, I wish I could just make myself relax and embrace where I am at right now. I don’t want to remember Summer 2014 being stressful. I want to remember teaching Kendall to write and taking naps with Adley in my bed and Chris building us fires to make s’mores.

3 comments:

  1. Giiiiirl, do I ever! I've been meaning to e-mail you because your post about your jaw totally hit home for me. I REALLY wish we lived closer because it sounds like we could seriously use some girl time to compare notes! I, too, carry all my stress there... so much so that my jaw clicks constantly and I grind my teeth all night... to the point of waking with massive headaches because my face / head has been clenched so tight all night long. I don't know how to fix it. I'm in a similar 'stage of life' I guess you could call it where I'm trying to figure out how to calm down... I just don't know how. Sorry to fill you in on MY struggles... just know that you're not alone! xo

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  2. I hear you! I was at a new friend's house last night and it was immaculate. She has 2 boys ages 8 and 6, similar to me, and it was SPOTLESS. Yes, she had people coming over so probably did a little extra cleaning, but still. I thought back to my own house that I knew was a pit - I'd even thought earlier that day how embarrassed I'd be if someone came over and saw my mess. I just couldn't believe how far I'd let things go. This friend mentioned how she was a total Type A person and I immediately wished I could change my personality to be that type. I used to be more organized but with kids that all went out the window. Sucks. So Yes, I know how it feels to wish you could change a part of your personality. Guess what I did today - cleaned! Now if someone comes over I won't be *quite* as embarrassed. Still have a bit to do but it's better.

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  3. I know just how you feel. I am so stressed right now that it's hard to relax and enjoy the good things that are happening. I'm a worrier. I always have been. Even when everything is great I find something to worry about. It's a terrible personality trait. It makes it hard to sleep and gives me headaches. I definitely need some alone time. However when I do have time to myself I end up only thinking about the kids and if they're okay. I just can't win! lol

    That was very sweet of your husband =)

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